Joining the menopause club

Since I have a habit of sharing all kinds of personal data, why not share this?

I shall use a common euphemism: I haven’t seen my aunt in about ten months. I thought she was coming last week but it turns out it was just my hormones torturing me again and nothing substantial ever materialized. Good thing too because I did not want to have to start the count all over again. What count you might ask? You know, the one where you anxiously tick off the months of not having a period until you get to the magical twelfth month indicating that you are to menopause, or through it, that always confuses me. I’m never quite sure if I’m traveling through menopause or to menopause? Either way, I feel like it’s some goal I’m trying to reach.

When I thought I might start my period again last week because I had every symptom known to woman, I looked up online how often it starts back up at ten months and found many women lamenting the recount. We all are reaching for the magical twelve months mark aren’t we? As if we get some kind of badge. Or maybe a chip? Yes, I vote for a chip that I can carry around in my pocket. Like this one:


I was so pleased to be able to keep my ten month chip. That means I am only two months away from that magical day of full transition. Or not. It seems many women get a period after a year of not having one. And tell me, why is anyone surprised by that? Doctors will tell you if that happens you should rush right off to see one because something might be wrong. But who in the world determined that twelve months is the magical moment? I bet a man! Because any woman who’s been through it will tell you that when we’re speaking about our hormones there are just no guarantees. (Of course if you do think you have a medical issue you should by all means look into it.)

This time last year I was in Europe. I wish I were there right now, but it was not to be. Next year though. Anyway, when I was packing for the trip I decided, even after six months being period free, I just better throw a couple of tampons into my bag. Good thing too.

I was taking a sleeper train from Florence to Paris and then changing trains to take the Eurostar to London, when yes, you guessed it, Aunt Flo showed up. And she had a lot of baggage, let me tell you! To make matters worse, I was in a six person couchette with a family of five from London. I couldn’t get an upgrade to a two person couchette so I decided what the heck, it will be an adventure.

Unfortunately those particular train cars are like youth hostels. There are teens in every bunk and all are drunk and sharing one toilet down the hall. I was actually quite lucky to get in with a family it turns out. They were truly lovely people and I wound up staying up half the night talking to them. Also on the fortunate side, the mother, who was one of those mothers who had a gigantic bag filled with everything in case of any emergency imaginable asked if I had extra toilet paper with me. I did not. So she handed me a flattened roll about a quarter full.

If I could give anyone in the world a million dollars, well she’d be it. There I was, three o’clock in the morning, in the most God-awful bathroom, rocking back and forth trying to balance and not touch anything, with the wind blowing from somewhere, desperately hanging onto a tampon and that precious roll of toilet paper having a surprise you-haven’t-had-a-period-in-six-months event.

It paints a picture, I know!

It’s hard to put into words how horrifying that moment was. And I still had twelve hours of travel time left, including two hours trying to get through British customs, getting on the Eurostar and then taking a train to the hotel where I was staying. When I arrived I promptly threw my underwear out and put all the clothes I was wearing into quarantine in a plastic bag. Funny enough, I had only taken baths for the last six months because of my hive issue, but this hotel room only had a shower stall. I sure did not care at that moment! I took a long, hot shower.

I went another three months before I had to start the count yet again in September, but under much less dramatic conditions. I am now at the ten month mark and am praying that the goalpost doesn’t move again!

I guess this post really has nothing to do with anything except that I was thinking about my trip and that crazy train trip. And I was wondering if on the day that I hit the twelfth month of being free of my pesky aunt if I will hear the angels sing and if someone will knock on my door and hand me my Menopause Club 12 chip. Maybe that cute UPS guy…


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Posted in histamine intolerance, menopause, peri-menopause, Women's health
7 comments on “Joining the menopause club
  1. Kay says:

    So glad to hear that other women do that countdown, too. I was so excited that it’d been 5 months since my last visit, and it started again 2 days ago. Gagh! For me, it’s all about ending the hives!

  2. Margo says:

    It’s nice to get confirmation on the hot flashes and high histamines. It has been an ordeal dealing with this issue. I have lots of allergies that I have developed within the last 2 years that have brought me to the hospital. I had lip and eye swelling. I am under lots of stress and have emotional issues that make life very stressful. It is very difficult because I am not able to take any supplements to correct the situation. I have been to many holistic practitioners that were not able to get to the bottom of this whole situation. My suspicion is that the extreme stress along with Menopause is creating this situation. Not sure if anyone has any suggestions for me. Thank You. Margo

    • Well my suggestion would be to read a lot of this blog! Check out the index of my best posts on the Current Thoughts tab.

    • Michelle says:

      Hello. I sure feel for you. I am 54 now and I swear my hormone problems are going to make me go insane. I started this hormone nightmare when I was in my late 20’s and it has done nothing but get worse over time. What started out as a couple of days of P.M.S. has evolved to every hormone problem in the book every day. In the last year my allergies, which I only acquired in the last few years, have become permanent. My allergy shiners are terrible. The allergies have caused my sinus problem to become permanent. I have had tinitus since about the age of 13 and because of the allergies and sinus problem my hearing in my good hear is distorted much of the time. I am constipated 90 % of the time, retaining water half the time and so feel bloated way to much. I have terrible mood swings. Almost 30 years of dealing with this stuff hasn’t made me a happy camper. Considering that I have been fighting a losing battle for so long it is understandable. My hot flashes keep me awake most of the night and so I average 3 or 4 hours of sleep. What my hormone problems have done to my hair is horrible. I used to have long beautiful auburn hair. Strangers would tell me how nice my hair was and now it’s my worst night mare. My hair is completely dry, broken and falling out. I do not know what a good hair day is any more. I am turning into a hermit because all of these problems are so hard to deal with after all this time that it is just easier to stay home. The fact that my self esteem is non existent doesn’t help. Doctors tell us to avoid stress. Yeah right! How is anybody supposed to avoid stress when hormones are the cause of it. It’s a miserable existence. Well, the rain has finally stopped and I need to get outside and clean up the yard. At least it is cool enough outside that my hot flashes won’t be so bad. Us woman need to stick together because doctors don’t seem to get it. Good luck with your hormones and take care!!!

      • Michelle,

        I’m so sorry for your suffering. I hope the information on my site helps you.

        If I were you, I’d head over the Low Histamine Chef’s site if you haven’t already, and read up on her story and how she’s healed herself. She had so many health issues because of histamine intolerance and is so healthy and radiant now it’s amazing.

        She proves that even as badly you feel now, that’s how much you can undo all the damage and feel great again.

        I really believe using all the information on my site and hers you can heal yourself and get your life back!

        Good luck and keep in touch.


  3. prettysure77 says:

    Being thrust into this transition at a young age, I didn’t get the ‘benefit’ of easing into it. I was caught completely off guard by the hormone fluctuation and side effects of such. It was certainly not pleasant. I wrote about it and hope it helps others feel they’re not alone.

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