I don’t know how many of you follow the news, or are at all concerned about the death of a celebrity. And what could possibly be the connection between the death of the woman who was dating Mick Jagger and this blog?
It is not something, when I first read about her death, I thought I’d be writing about this weekend. But a conversation the other day with my friend, in the car going to work, makes me think L’Wren’s death could be a lot closer to our issues than we will ever know.
In case you’re not up on the latest news, L’’Wren Scott was the 49 year old fashion designer who was dating Mick Jagger for the last 13 years. She committed suicide by hanging herself off a door knob in her apartment. When the news first broke of her death, many people seemed shocked. But as the days wore on, many facts emerged. Although her fashions were worn by some A-list celebrities, her business was failing. She was over six million dollars in debt. She was also in a relationship with a man who did not want a third wife, which was reportedly quite distressful for her.
So on the surface, it seems she might have had an enviable life, but once you read the details, she was dealing with quite a lot.
During the conversation with my friend, I mentioned that L’Wren was only 49…so young. But my friend’s response was more like, “yeah, ya know 49…” At first I didn’t know what she meant, but then realized she was referring to that time in a woman’s life; that all important transition. Peri-menopause.
She even commented that maybe she was so damn itchy she couldn’t stand it. How would we know? Maybe her histamine levels were rising while her hormones were beginning to go haywire. Friends came out the next day and said she was depressed in the weeks leading up to her death. Someone even mentioned she’d self-harmed. There is a strong theoretical link between histamine intolerance and depression. (I say theoretical because I don’t know if it is a proven link) But I think that’s interesting when talking about a successful 49 year old committing suicide.
I was having a cosmo bayside with my teacher buddies Thursday, celebrating the beginning of our spring break, when we got into a conversation about the changes we see with our bodies. The other three women are in their early 60’s. (I’m 52) It started with one of them mentioning her 60-ish friend, on a weekend getaway, came out of her room in a bikini, and how she thought her friend was a bit long in the tooth to be wearing one.
We all agreed to a woman’s right to be proud of whatever body she has at the time, but how none of the four of us would be caught dead in a bikini. Then the conversation switched to who still wears shorts. It seems the legs are the first thing gravity wreaks havoc on, well maybe after the face? One friend talked about her fading beauty. I talked about my fading athletic form. I never considered myself a great beauty, but I always considered myself an athlete. And based on that, my shorts are now down to my knees. It seems I woke up one day and looked in the mirror and thought WTF!? How can I be running three times a week and riding a bike and lifting weights and look like this. Like my skin is too big for my thighs! When did my inner self start to shrink away from my outer self?
Besides what you see physically, you notice your mind sliding in and out of some kind of mental fog. The ground comes out from under you, and you find yourself shifting between mud and clarity.
So what’s my point today? I started out by talking about L’Wren Scott and meandered through menopause and how it’s affected me personally. I guess it’s that I feel badly for her and wonder if she had friends like I have and a support system in place could she have weathered her feelings of inadequacy, or the feeling that she could not pull herself out from whatever rabbit hole she fell down into?
Were her demons the things she couldn’t fix, or her wayward hormones? I guess we’ll never know. But in the end, Mick wouldn’t marry her, her business was failing, she was in debt, and maybe she looked into the mirror and didn’t recognize herself anymore. Who of us hasn’t felt that way? And whether or not peri-menopause played a role, I can only theorize.
No matter what was going through her head, I’m still sorry about her death. I’m sorry for L’Wren and her family and friends. And I’m sorry for all women who fall down the rabbit hole.
I was lucky. I stepped to the edge, looked down into it, and stepped back.
Dale
The menopause histamine connection 
Interesting theory, but what it also says is beauty is in the eye of the beholder as I have never thought Mike Jagger was handsome, never liked his Group. Certainly time has done nothing for his looks either.
Regards his partner I guess we shall never know what was in her mind, as we never know what is anyone’s mind or thought pattern, but interesting theory.
Thanks! It’s true we can never know.
I feel so sad for that beautiful woman, having suffered myself for 55 straight days with hives and itching, I was close to going crazy. Cutting out so many foods and beverages made it impossible to deal with. Nothing helped with the hives but avoiding food no antihistamines. My hunger and itching was unbearable. Then with research after numerous blood tests and scans a simple fix was found. The problem is in my digestive tract and Candida helped me. I was told by my allergist to do a six week antihistamine detox I’m 4 weeks into it. Now after 4 weeks of daily supplements and taking 2 capsules of Candida I can eat and drink normally again. Allergy season is a real test but I’m using a nasal saline mist 2 times daily. So far so good.
Candy that’s wonderful. I love to hear when someone heals. Maybe what you’ve shared here will open up new avenues of research for women who hadn’t thought about candida before. Thanks for sharing your story.
Dale
Yes congratulations, hope this is your answer to the problem Candy. However, lots of us have two or three issues going on at the same time. I also take a pro biotic to help, what I have found is my vit b levels were not high enough. Pro biotic capsules help the gut create the vit b so the body heals itself. I also take once a week a Vit B6 which also helps the gut create the ‘good guys’ with that sorted out, I can eat some foods now with histamines in.
Before I found out the hives were internal and caused the IBS I had a problem, but now in hind site I can see that having had an IBS attack, the gut was cleared out of all good bacteria. But not realizing this I started to have other issues….then the penny dropped I needed to replace the good bacteria in the gut. Now I do not seem to have irritable bowel when I watch what I eat and replace the good bacteria with pro biotics. It is a cycle that needs to be watched and understood. Of course drinking plain water helped after each irritable bowel attack and no Candida is brilliant!
Any loss of life is tragic, and a suicide even more so.
Your ideas give us something to think about here.
Sadly, only Ms. Scott knows for sure why she took that route.
I am sorry that you got so close to the abyss, and so very glad to hear that you have a strong support group.
That’s very important, as is paying attention to signs in others who might need help, whether it’s something small, huge like averting a suicide, and all things between the two.
On a lighter note, I say kudos to your friend for wearing her bikini.
At the same time, I do understand the perplexing ways our bodies can change on us, and sometimes seemingly overnight.
It doesn’t help women of any age when there is so much “pressure” to look, dress, and act a certain way.
Yes, there should be common sense, and a certain degree of propriety involved, but that’s not what I mean here.
Google these ladies to see a few examples of women breaking the so-called molds of aging. 🙂
Helen Mirren Bikini photo 2008
Ernestine Shepherd bodybuilder
Vivienne Westwood, Vivienne Westwood on aging, etc.
Cher
Bette Midler
There are many examples, from all walks of life, but you get the idea. 🙂
There’s also a fabulous video out on a few particular women in their eighties and what they wear and who they are. Super strong amazing women. I have to find the link. I don’t remember the name of it but I was even going to so a separate post about it. It was an hour long or so documentary. I’ll find it.
Gee some of those are younger than I am! LOL
One doesn’t have to be a celebrity to be a strong woman I am sure there are lots on this site.
Absolutely right Ann! I would say most of the women on this site can teach the younger ones how to be strong considering their challenges!
I found this article after googling histamine intolerance and suicide. Last night was rough for me and all because I ate Mexican food. Sometimes I just want to fit in or just eat what I want. I know I’ll pay for it later, but the onset of peri-menopause has so drastically increased my sensitivity level that I find the neurological effects almost overwhelming. Those dark thoughts are the worst. Your words remind me to take a step back and use my rational mind to deal, as well as, how important its become to stick to my diet in order to keep balanced. No more fitting in for me. I’ll just order the effing salad with olive oil next time. It’s far better than the alternative.
I can totally relate. I went to PF Changs the other day and didn’t give it a thought what might even be in that food. Was only thinking about the friends I was meeting. Major migraine the next day!
You’ll do it again. Mark my words. And some day the consequences won’t be as hurtful. But as you can see, two and a half years after figuring it all out, I still make regrettable food choices. I just keep the ginger handy! The important thing is to not beat yourself up. Just pick yourself up and keep moving forward.
Hang in there. It does get better!